By Clovis Toadvine
On November 8th, just two days after the 2018 Midterms, it was announced with similar urgency to a natural disaster that Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the 85-year-old Supreme Court Justice, had fallen and was hospitalized with three broken ribs.
The left has been aggressively deifying Ginsburg for some time. CNN even broadcasted a miniseries about her life. They are preemptively ennobling her because they know she is not long for this world. The more venerated she is, the more fired-up the left will be when she inevitably kicks the bucket.
In an attempt to further exalt the second-ever female Supreme Court justice, the Democrats have created in their base a ferocity that will be unleashed in many a shed tear and smashed store-front window when Trump announces her replacement. Unfortunately for Ginsburg, it appears that 20% of all adults who suffer three or more broken ribs die from complications directly related to the injury, according to the Mayo Clinic. This will obviously be exacerbated by old age, and Ginsburg is definitely rich in years. It is also stated in the National Trauma Database that 30% of all elderly (>65) patients develop pneumonia from the injury as well.
– Patient broke three or more ribs
– Patient is of advanced age
– Patient has previous history of cardiopulmonary disease
She’s three for three. If this is accurate, she has an 80% chance of dying due to this tumble. There is a strong chance Ginsburg is done for.
A compassionate supporter would advocate for her to retire and spend the remaining short years (weeks?) of her life resting and spending time with family. Not liberals, though. Under a grotesque misappropriation of compassion, the left proposes that we instead wrap the justice in bubble-wrap, and work her until she dies in her soiled robes, incontinent and emaciated. This isn’t exactly a novel sentiment, since Democrats similarly savaged Justice Anthony Kennedy when, at the age of 82, he retired after 20 years on the bench. Their reactions wouldn’t be so disgusting if they didn’t wrap their “pleas” (read: demands) in a dozen layers of false compassion and soy-Frappuccino-soaked condescension.
Unsurprisingly, liberals have even begun offering their own ribs and organs to Ginsburg in a bizarre effort to post meme-able content on social media, although some are certainly crazed enough to actually be serious. They would rather have a Dr. Moraeu-ian amalgamation of stitched-together body parts in vivisectory fashion than a healthy retired woman. Even if this effort is mostly in jest, it’s still disturbingly revealing of their religious dedication to liberalism.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, after some pressing from Chris Wallace of Fox News, has finally seemed to come out of his shell on the issue of accommodating the judicial worries of his opponents, and recently asserted that the GOP would not be replacing Ginsburg with a similarly liberal justice once she leaves office. The ensuing weeping gnash of teeth still persists to this day and will continue until her supporters finally tucker out in front of the rerun of CNN’s “RBG” months after she’s passed.
Lucky as we are, Trump just oversaw the retention of a majority Republican Senate, and one that is (mostly) free of the type of traitor that we saw in Jeff Flake during the Kavanaugh confirmation. With the greater majority that he has, he doesn’t need to depend on (or appease) the principled retardation of people like Mitt Romney or Lisa Murkowski. Without having to appeal to the delicate sensibilities of these types of Republicans, Trump will be able to pick a replacement that is far more extreme in their conservatism than even Kavanaugh (who, not that you’d realize it by the left’s reaction, would actually be a milquetoast right-leaning centrist in simpler times). Even more exciting than the Senate makeup is the generous lame-duck period between now and January 3rd, 2019, where Justice Ginsburg will have ample time to die, and Trump ample time to prepare his short list.
If liberals are already worried about the hospitalization of an extremely fit and healthy woman who engages in a rigorous gym routine of 6 girl-pushups a day, just imagine the rage when she actually dies.
“I’m now 85,” Ginsburg said, only two months ago, to CNN. “My senior colleague Justice John Paul Stevens, he stepped down when he was 90. So, I think I have about at least five more years.” She might have been premature in her assumption. Especially since, unlike RBG, John Stevens didn’t suffer from two bouts of pancreatic cancer and an artery stent procedure during his term.