Elizabeth Warren: The Candidate Nobody Wanted

Elizabeth Warren: The Candidate Nobody Wanted

by Coffee Long


On New Year’s Eve, Elizabeth Warren, Democratic Senator from Massachusetts, announced her plans to form an exploratory committee in preparation for a presidential run in 2020. According to reports, she has already hired four top-level staffers for her Iowa campaign and is planning stops in Sioux City, Storm Lake, Council Bluffs and Des Moines by the end of this coming weekend, presumably to make a very early impression for the Iowa Caucus scheduled for February 2020.

Warren’s announcement comes on the heels of the 2018 mid-term elections which saw a number of wins for Democrats, including women, minorities, and immigrants. Warren’s announcement makes her the first of what is expected to be a crowded Democratic field for the 2020 presidential election and should include the likes of Kamala Harris (CA), Cory Booker (NJ), and Kirsten Gillibrand (NY), not to mention Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, and of course Hillary Clinton, assuming she can keep the reaper at bay for the duration.

Senator Warren has since stood up a website which primarily centers on a 4-minute “grass-roots” platitude reel, featuring strong, smiling women, children of color, and blacks working menial labor jobs, all set against a stock-footage background of skyscrapers, limousines, and greedy White men. While this is standard fare for the average Democratic candidate, Warren’s undertakings may appear peculiar, even in times where the peculiar has become run-of-the-mill. Most glaring is Warren’s DNA test, which became public immediately prior to the 2018 election. The results of this test revealed that she is not, in fact, genetically connected to any “Native American” tribes. While her unfortunately exclusive Whiteness may come as a surprise to no one but her, the general consensus is that the fiasco essentially ruined her chance for higher office. Media outlets ranging from leftoid shill-sheets to the kosher towers of the New York Times all seem to doubt that she has any cards left in the deck that can trump the Faux-cahontas debacle.

While proof of Warren’s monochromatic ancestry did not ultimately cost her the 2018 Senate election, she did win well below the expected margin. As thoroughly-blue Massachusetts leans roughly 30 points left of the rest of the country, Warren was expected to win by a margin of 39 points over Scott Brown; her 24-point margin of victory suggests she would not fare as well in the rest of the country as she did in the Land of Chowder and Kennedy. Further, although she has announced her intentions, hired staffers, and has planned visits, her website is at present devoid of any information beyond a few pull-down menus and a way for visitors to give feedback on why they are or are not “ALL IN” with their support for Elizabeth Warren. So, what are we to make of this? Let’s consider a few of the factors.

First, there is no way to see Warren as a strong candidate; she is a fake diversity-hire with cookie-cutter positions coming essentially untested out of the deep-blue Northeast. As if that weren’t enough, she would be following the efforts of the last female candidate who, despite any and all shilling to the contrary, ran a sloppy campaign filled with the kind of self-destructive soundbites that, barring an endearing media, would have sunk any other candidate. Between that and her occasional fits of dementia and neurological lapses, Hillary concluded her presidential bid by abandoning her supporters to cry into their herbal tea with not a peep of support from her. That’s not an easy act to follow, but it doesn’t stop there. Warren is 69 now and will be 71 on 2020 election day. Given that she hasn’t got a chance this time around, a younger candidate’s plan would be to get on the voter’s radar, try for a VP spot, and make a presidential run down the road. Since no one is going to vote an 80-year-old woman to lead anything except a knitting club, there must be another play at work here.

According to the New York Times, the Democratic Party is at present a party with “no single leader, no obvious front-runner for 2020, and no broadly unifying ideology.” As ideology goes, Warren did show herself to be one of the boys in 2014 by being one of 80 co-sponsors of the US-Israeli Strategic Partnership Act. So, while there have been no reports of her making the customary pilgrimage to Israel to receive approval of her candidacy, she has definitely shown herself as one willing to play ball for the team. Given the soft-opening timing of her announcement, the opinion polling nature of her website, and the extremely early engagement with voters, it is not an unreasonable assumption that Elizabeth Warren is voluntarily shirking her duties as senator to act as a scout for the Democratic candidates with an actual chance of challenging the GOP; perhaps good service in scouting the lay of the land would earn her a chance at a cabinet position should things go in the Dems favor.

Assuming this is the case, it means a few things for us. First, that Democrats are really planning to put their backs into 2020; we derailed their timeline and they are no doubt anxious to keep too many people from catching on before they can be demographically replaced. Second, they don’t have access to reliable information; if they knew how to find out what actually matters to voters, not just what they tell voters is important, they would not waste time, money, and resources sending Elizabeth Warren to pound the pavement and find out. Lastly, and most important, for all the black-pilling and gnashing of teeth we all enjoy amongst ourselves, it appears that the more we can assist in pushing the Democrats to become the Official Party of POCs, the more likely they are to remain in their current state of disarray.

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