Tucker Carlson and the Kosher Bubble

Tucker Carlson and the Kosher Bubble

No border wall. More legal immigration. Prisoners released early. Missile strikes on Syria. Brinkmanship with Iran. Jared Kushner’s general, intrusive presence.

In light of the Trump administration’s hard pivot from nationalism to Zionism, one could hardly be blamed for having forgotten that this timeline is the best timeline.

But it is. On a timeline defined as much by the irony of its happenings along a logical progression through history as it is by the righteousness of its ultimate trajectory, Donald Trump’s political career is simply another necessary stepping stone on the path toward actually making America great again.

Because without Trump in 2016, we wouldn’t be getting whatever happens in 2020. And whatever happens in 2020 is going to give us Tucker Carlson in 2024.

And Tucker knows what to do next:

“You clearly haven’t renounced your loyalty to a foreign government. Why should I take you seriously… In what sense are you fully American?”

Trump may have totally cucked on his entire campaign platform, and he may be a full-blown neocon now, and he’s actually probably, like, the most shabbos president since Woodrow Wilson — but in 2016, we did start the fire.

And the fire rises.

The 2016 presidential election was the powder keg of the 21st century, marking the outbreak of a raging culture war. Such is the natural consequence of a timeline that’s past century includes the Federal Reserve Act, the Great Depression, World War II, the Frankfurt School, Hart-Celler, Roe v Wade, 13 do 50, infinity Mexicans, 9/11, and Barry Soetoro.

And Tucker knows what to do next:

“There’s a reason the world’s major religions condemn usury, and why societies have restricted it for thousands of years.”

The issues and ideas that were articulated and popularized by the alt right during Trump’s campaign have only been further emphasized and exacerbated during his actual administration. More than two years into it, despite (or possibly, as a result of) how Bibi-cock-holster-tier Trump’s presidency has turned out to be, the power level that was awakened in the collective consciousness of white America as we rallied around Trump’s candidacy has only continued to grow.

But our eyes are not just open. If we were a meme, our eyeballs would be glowing out of our skulls right now.

We’ve identified what we want from our elected officials — namely the actualization of a strong, prosperous, socially cohesive, high-trust society, as opposed to a sterile system of glorified values and ideals — and there’s no going back. There will be no cuck insurgency. As it turns out, we actually may have elected a literal con man, but we also developed a taste for red meat in the process — and thanks to Trump, we’ll know what it looks like when it’s rotten.

And Tucker knows what to do next:

“Lost in the mindless celebration of change is an obvious question: why should a country with no shared language, ethnicity, religion, culture, or history remain a country? Countries don’t hang together simply because. They need a reason. What’s ours?”

Accordingly, within this raging culture war upon this best timeline, as every action has an equal and opposite reaction, the white man’s newly rediscovered self-identity is perfectly reciprocated by the spiraling of the intersectional left’s abject mania. Where the alt right’s energy increasingly manifests itself as righteous conviction, the Judeo-left exhibits frantic and depraved neuroticism.

If they were a meme, they’d have necrotic cancer pieces in polymicrobial abscess soup leaking out of their neovaginas right now.

But that’s what you get when you turn your cock and balls inside out and connect it to your colon so the permanently open wound between your legs can self-lubricate. Or when you replace your native population with someone else’s babies, or conflate homosexuality as relatable to black voters, or reap vocational rewards by larping as a Cherokee Indian, or otherwise subvert a natural symbiosis by substituting vacuous and toxic artificial imitations in the place of its most vital functional elements.

And Tucker knows what to do next:

“Our leaders are radically and permanently changing our country, wholly on the basis of their faith that diversity is, in fact, our strength. Maybe we should have talked this through ahead of time. Somehow, we didn’t… Diversity isn’t our strength. Unity is our strength.”

So, less than one month from the first Democratic primary debate, on the precipice of the next process for selecting the President of the United States, with a clownish shabbos goy on the right matched by a gaggle of over 20 proxy-Jews on the left, we find ourselves in an all-too-familiar situation: stuck between the two challah bread slices of the kosher sandwich dialectic.

Which is to say, within this culture war upon this timeline, we are exactly where we need to be.

Because at this point on the timeline — with a swirling, volatile energy building amongst the American public, and the unheard pleas from across the political spectrum for integrity and effective policy, and the historical sequence of events that have brought about the current conditions, and the ever-thinly stretched rhetorical framework needed to contain it all — the kosher sandwich might actually be a kosher bubble.

Because, that’s what happens when merchants artificially inflate the price of a product beyond the product’s actual value. The merchants have created a bubble, and when this is realized by the market, the bubble pops and the prices of the merchants’ products correct downward precipitously.

But what happens when a market finds a natural alternative to the merchants’ products, at totally fair prices, which cause consumers to immediately feel healthier and happier, prompting a mass realization that not only were the merchants’ products artificially overpriced, but they were also quite obviously designed to cause their users physiological harm (contrary to their vibrant packaging and the merchants’ slick sales pitches)?

Well, Tucker will know what to do next.

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